#24 NOBODY BABY BUT YOU & ME.

For a while I was worried about feeling too strongly for someone. I was worried that the feeling wasn't mutual....I don't really have that worry any more!

My trouble has always been that I've been notoriously picky, but when I find someone I think things could work with - I get in too deep. I know I may be optimistic, but these days that's just less of a worry in my mind. You don't realise how good a relationship is until you have a bad one. I had a bad one, so now I can appreciate the present...

Last night I went to meet Sarah's dad. He was performing in a play he had written at the Talisman Theatre in Kenilworth. Judging by Sarah's over-thinking and rushing she made sure I met him before the play began.
I can see why! A first impression of your girlfriends father as an ugly step-sister in tights and make-up is certainly unique!!
Regardless of the tights and make-up, I enjoyed myself I must admit. The play was funny and fair play to her father for having the guts to play a role like that...earns some man points indeed.

After the play we stayed for a drink or two and then headed home. A relatively calm evening all in all, but a nice way to meet her dad - at an event where he was prioritising his performance over interrogating his daughter's boyfriend!
And to be honest I was nervous beforehand. It's quite weird - the Ricoh Arena was a gig infront of nearly 10,000 people and I wasn't nervous, just eager to get out there. But last night, I experienced nerves for the first time since January 2010 where we played on the pitch at the Ricoh at a Cov vs. Blackpool match. Strange how it differs!!

Me & Sarah are really going well. I won't jinx it by saying anything, but things just seem to be running very well indeed.... AND, I made a breakthrough with the songwriting. More to follow on that topic....



(Ps - that picture is not how we usually act!)




I'm Currently Listening to Penny & The Quarters - You & Me


Until the next,
SM. x

#23 FEELIN' GROOVY

Remember the girl I mentioned in the last post? Something tells me it's now a lot more public!
It's a good thing; a really good thing.

I haven't felt like this since the beginning of, yeah, 'that' relationship. But this time there's a difference, things are a lot healthier. I feel like I can trust Sarah not to mess with my head, I genuinely don't feel too worried about what she might do...she's on a new level altogether.

I'm not going to get over my head and name all the good things about her, I've learnt the dangers of putting girls on pedestals...no matter how tempting it may be.
For now, let's just say things are going great and everything's really healthy. I'm enjoying all the time I spend with her, and I can't wait to see how she fits into my life - music and all............

On the topic of music, my songwriting has taken a break for a couple weeks. One reason is that I've written enough now for the album...the other is Sarah. So many new, exciting thoughts and feelings are occurring that I find myself struggling to channel it into music. I'm not worried, this always happens when I'm put under new situations and environments.
I'm just waiting until I eventually feel settled with Sarah, then I know the songs will come bursting out.
But until that stage I shall carry on getting to know her, trying out new things, and generally enjoying life on an ever-decreasing pocket of money.

I'm Currently Listening to Fiction Factory - Feels Like Heaven

Until the next,
SM. x

#22 YEAR COULD END ON A HIGH..

I love Christmas.
It just happens to bring out the better side of people, regardless of what else is going on.

I've done a lot this week, been out a lot this week, drank a lot this week. But it was all building up to Friday - The Tones Xmas gig at The Albany in Coventry.
The show was great, you'd find it pretty much impossible to fit anyone else in the room - and that's after we had taken all the furniture out! Half of the set was new material that had never been played live before, and it went down a treat - a really successful night that run smoothly.
I took to DJ'ing afterwards, a lot of people commented about the good songs being played - yeah, I love my music taste! ha.
The night finished on a high as well. I ended up getting with a girl that I least expected to. I've been talking to her for a few weeks now, but I always saw her as too reserved and naturally beautiful to do anything...turns out I was wrong about the first part!

Now, at Christmas, it seems like a really cool time for us to get to know eachother that bit more...so that's exactly what we're doing. I'll be taking her out on a date tomorrow, nice and relaxed - Esquires and Bella Italia. Always focus more on the conversation than what we're doing.
As for the second date, I'm going to take her to the Sea Life Centre in Birmingham, it's a little more exciting than the usual places...and she won't know about it till we get there, added bonus!
I'm going to be honest, I do really like her. From what I have found out, She's a beautiful girl who thinks about things a lot before doing anything - she's nice to everyone and a genuine person, just what I need really!

I really think this could be a game-changer.

Anyway, I'll leave you with that....Until next time!


I'm Currently Listening to John Mayer - Slow Dancing In A Burning Room

SM. x

#21 PARTIAL SUNSHINE OF THE FLAWLESS MIND.

I whine on about 'spontaneity', but everything has some form of routine.

A routine I've noticed in my day-to-day life is something that occurs in my old friend darkness, during the...sounds of silence.
It involves me, in complete isolation, lying in bed. (No, it's nothing sinister)
I turn my laptop on, load up YouTube, Spotify and iTunes...and the world of music is at my finger tips. This is the one true time of day where I can listen to music, soak it in and really feel it's affects.
Headphone's on - Volume at 100% - complete isolation.


I tend to sway towards mellow songs at this time of night, lyrics triumph over the music.
Favourites seem to be Simon & Garfunkel, The Smiths, Crowded House and then some form of early soul/blues tunes.
I've noticed the effect this routine has upon me; it put's me into a really calm state of mind. A chilled optimism like everything is running in harmony - a status quo.

If only this feeling stayed 24/7, it seems to be the part of the day I looked forward to the most! Thats bad isn't it - I look forward to isolation, haha.
Truth is, I have OCD when it comes to music, some call it being a perfectionist - other's refer to it as 'slave driver', so at this time of the night I'm my own DJ. I don't have to judge the crowd's reaction, just my own.

No-one can ever be a better DJ than yourself, mainly because no-ones know's you better!
If I could stay in this state of mind constantly, I would be a great person.
Music is my therapy, it affects everything in one way or another....



By the way, on a completely random note, here's a great photo of Paris I found and edited...

I'm Currently Listening to Sammy Davis Jnr - Mr. Bojangles

SM. x

#20 BLUE VALENTINE.

This song - wow.
Blows me away....

SM.x

#19 SUBSTANCE.

When I was with my ex-girlfriend, I wrote 3 songs in 3 months - a steady effort.

However, since everything ended just over a month ago I've now written and completed 6 new Tones songs.
Six songs that I'm pretty certain will all have a part to play both at shows and on the album.
I won't lie, they aren't ecstatically happy songs. But for once they truly have meaning... I think that's more important than anything else.


I don't know whether I should reveal their names, but I guess this is a private blog so here's a couple:
- Let Me In  --- A mellow song with an uplifting chorus and an optimistic outro. This was the first song I wrote after the breakup and probably the most poignant. The verses seem to describe the one-sidedness of relationships whilst the chorus looks at the regret you feel for getting in too deep with a bad choice of person. Meanwhile the outro seems to conclude the feeling's of the song as a whole... Yet I can bet that for many people they will listen to it and just think it's an uplifting 'poppy' song. That makes me smile.


- Daydream --- This is all about sarcasm. It follows the path of a guy being told about an unfaithful girlfriend, yet it's done from her perspective. You really have to look at the lyrics to realise what a bad thing she's done...because obviously from her perspective it's very watered down and smoothed over. The only hints are in the few lines leading  up to the chorus. This song always makes me grin, I mean look at the irony of the title! There was no daydream, just the one in her own head.....

- Victoria --- I don't really speak to anyone called Victoria, that's why I used it in the song. Obviously it's the description of the girl mentioned in many of our previous songs, but to use her own name would prove immature and unbearable! Victoria takes place as a couple are breaking up, it's right there in the thick of it. Me and Loz do a 'call and response' trick in the chorus (I guess he takes on the voice of the girl, haha). The verses go on to map the thoughts of the guy as he sits there, the girl has stormed off and he's left alone...sitting down, trying to piece things together. The song doesn't really show any remorse for Victoria, she's put over as a hard-skinned, self-centered female who can't face reality. At least that's what I was aiming for!

- Girl With The Golden Crown --- Don't get your hopes up, this might not appear on the album...it's a bit more experimental I reckon. This is my first attempt at writing a 1st person story line in chronological order. Every other time I've thought of trying this it seemed too cheesy, but when I was playing around with the chords an idea just seemed to fit in with it. The Song (not about a girl going to the dentist) but is infact about a girl who, growing up, had the 'golden crown' of innocence and naivety - But through time she eventually lost it. She got complacent with herself and tried to run before she could work...The compliments of her innocence had changed her and gone to her head. The song is from the perspective of her boyfriend, the first line takes place at 8pm at the start of a night out, the second line takes place at 3am as he stumbles back into his house...alone. The rest of the song seeks to piece together what happened in those several hours, what did she do, when did she do it, and more importantly...why?!
I haven't finished this, I'm only half the way through with it. I reckon I'll sort out my English Coursework this week and then focus my mind on the other half of the song...the first time I've given a lot of thought to a song to be honest.

I guess this is what the song's are trying to say! There's an underlying
meaning to them, it's always about someone in particular....

There are other new tunes as well.
I guess what I'm trying to say is: I was optimistic about the album before I became single, and now I'm bursting. I was worried about cliches, but these new songs have depth that I've only managed to interpret through what's happened in the past few weeks and cliches are no longer an issue, I think. 


I want people to listen to the songs and read into them whatever they need to. After all, a song should act as a best friend; giving you advice and helping you through your own individual situation. But I know what these songs meant to me when I wrote them, I scribbled them down when I was in different moods - and recently I've found that some of them can transform even my own moods. I'd love for them to have such an effect on other people as well, only time will tell I guess!


Obviously I'm over this girl now. I'm thankful that I managed to get so much out of the relationship's bitter ending - I've learnt more about emotions and observations, you can see that in the songwriting. Now I'm more open to the new experiences that will shape the next songs....




I'm Currently Listening to Crowded House - Don't Dream It's Over


SM. x

#18 START OF WINTER - NEW BEGINNINGS.

The Danni situation has not crossed my mind in a while - that's a good thing.
Last week I tried to be the bigger person and sent her a message saying 'we can be civil' ... I didn't get any reply, I can almost laugh sometimes at the immaturity.

In other news! For the past fortnight there was a new girl on the scene. To cut things short, things seemed promising...but then she chose to drunkenly get off with another lad. A recurring trend with my choices, it seems.
So I doubt that me and this girl will go anywhere in the future.....

Music - We have 5 new songs! The pressures been put on us now to get all the material for the first album, give it another week and I'll be able to take a break from songwriting and focus on recording instead.


By the way - I need a new leather jacket....

I'm currently listening to Bon Iver - Perth


SM. x

#17 I WAS BLIND, NOW I CAN SEE.

This post could easily turn into a rant - i'm going to try to avoid that.

I won't go into much detail about this 3 week (so far) rollercoaster, the abuse I received, the lies and rumours about me that I heard about, the past stories about her that I got told. To sum things up, I found out an awful lot of slaggy and disgusting things about Danni, and through all of this she continued to stick the knife in until I have a period of feeling awful every single day through one way or another. Be it from abuse, her friends messaging me, threats, or her cosying up to a lad who she knows I hate and she doesn't like that much herself.
It's all pathetic....drained every thing out of me on a day to day basis, yet something new that she's hidden seems to always come out. It's sickening.

Tinie Tempah @ LG Arena, Birmingham.

Luckily I've had the right sort of people around me who spoke common sense and helped me see her for who she is - rather than her deceptiveness.

I won't write here what they said; mainly because it's too truthful, ALOT of people spoke their mind, and much of it was very close to the bone. I won't lower myself to her level.
At the end of the day, she's done everything wrong and more....she now tries to hide it and move on and expects me to hide away whilst she does so. You never learn from cruel mistakes if you always hide away from the consequences - it defeats the point.

I know her for who she is, I know her feelings towards what she did in this situation....I find it disgusting
Some day soon I'll realise how lucky I was to not still be with her, obviously that day is yet to come - once you love someone and make yourself that vunerable, it takes an awfully long time to get back to how you were.

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up" - Neil Gaiman

I'm a realist. If I say I'm in love - I genuinely mean every word. That's what is making this so much more difficult.
Especially knowing she said she felt the same, yet she can move on with a lot more ease. Does that show once again what type of person she is?
Slagging off her mates behind their backs, telling lies so she doesn't have to face the truth, and then just moving onto the next lad.......   When I look at the facts, it does make me a bit relieved - obviously hurt at the same time, I gave that girl all of my trust and she blew it to pieces and more.



Anyway, I don't want someone that low in self-respect, bitchy to others, two-faced airhead to dominate this entire post.
On to MUSIC.
Last week we supported The Specials at the Ricoh Arena. It should've been the happiest week of my life I'm sure - yet obviously other things overshadowed the event.

Nevertheless, the boys did good!  The arena was sold-out with 10,000 people and our set was a success. Being on such a big stage made me realise how much I want this on a regular basis, but also how comfortable being on a massive stage felt. We always seem to perform better on bigger stages, a really active band.....so if this album goes down well next year, I'd like to add a lot to my experiences so far.
The future's looking really exciting right now musically - with the album being recorded, the label behind us all the way, more and more new songs sounding better and better, things are on a role and pace is just increasing.... I can't begin to imagine where this could be in a couple years!  I hope anyway.



Life is busy. Music is great, the situation of that spiteful girl is disastrous.




"You will never know true happiness until you have truly loved, and you will never understand what pain really is until you have lost it."
I was in love with the side of her she wanted me to see. As I dug deeper and she relaxed and showed who she really was - it was someone completely different. I can understand why she'd want to hide that part of her self from other people, it's pathetic and cruel.




I'm currently listening to Primal Scream - Movin' On Up

"I was blind, now I can see. You made a believer out of me.

I'm movin' on up now. Gettin' out of the darkness. My light shines on."

SM. x 

#16 FIRST LOVE.

Numerous times have I thought about writing a post in the past couple days. But I thought I'd deal with life directly before I try to document it.

I am now single.
This was not out of my own doing, it was done by the girl who I thought was something different than what she turned out to be. I saw potential in something which has now turned out to be not very nice, quite the opposite of my thoughts in fact.
To make this very simple - Danni cheated on me and then ended things whilst wanting to 'still talk'.

Although at first I was in a haze of 'why', I've now realised that this couldn't have been done by the girl I thought I loved. I gave her everything and she was too immature to appreciate it.
In some ways I'm glad things are over, because in hindsight she was not a very nice person.

Atleast now I don't have to try and justify her cheating on me, I can accept her for the heartless person she is!
Overall I'm putting this down under the heading 'First Love'.
Yes, I've been in relationships before..but this is the one where I meant the word 'love' every time I used it.
This is the relationship that taught me what it's like to fall in love, I guess it also taught me that its unwise to feel this unless the person feels as strongly towards you. She simply became complacent and a person that I'm happy is no longer in my life.
I tried my best to be the best boyfriend possible, I did everything I could for her....and she treated me like this. She didn't appreciate how much I cared for her.
Yes I know I've written many songs about love, but until these last few months I've been relatively inexperienced in the power that the four-letter word can have. This is an experience that, although being extremely painful, will help me to mature in both myself and my songwriting - whilst helping me to realise in the future which girls are a waste of time with.

Now it's time to move on. Unfortunately the memories live on in songs I've written, one of which will be played at next week's Ricoh Arena gig supporting The Specials :/ ...that'll be an interesting few minutes. It'll also be hard visiting all the places we use to go to because we did so much whilst we were together, even all of my favourite songs I handed over to her.

This has been an unpleasant few days, and I know I'm not fully over her, but I will be in time. Because now I know that regardless of how I feel now, she was not the right girl for me - Danni turned out to be a poisonous adolescent, but I loved her so much.

Talk to you soon,
SM. x

p.s. I'm going to leave those previous posts below still on the page. Maybe more people can realise the dangerous joys of naivety, ...they only last for so long.

#15 IT'S GETTING BETTER ALL THE TIME.

I just realised that two posts ago I was discussing the benefits of being a single musician; and in the last post I was updating everyone on my new relationship status...what a hypocrite.

Things still haven't changed, i'm as happy as ever..I think she is aswell.
What I keep finding interesting is how she knows the band comes first - and lets me keep it that way! She's happy to settle for second best, that's something that I know she doesn't deserve. But there's nothing I can do to change that.
I try to understand and over-analyse everything, but I'm completely puzzled when it comes to this. How can someone do that?!! She continues to amaze me

Danni isn't like any other girl I've met before - there's something different. I don't fully know what it is, but I like it. I love it.

It's bizarre.

Changes the way you see things.... 

SM. x